I decided to write this article based on my own personal experiences. Years ago, when I had to move out of my apartment, I couldn’t tell my roommates because I was afraid it could break my friendships. If you are in the same dilemma, here’s how you can inform your friends about your moving into a new house.
Decide Why You Want to Leave
Identifying your motivations can help you prepare what to say. It’s very common to want to leave a bad roommate situation due to personality clashes or lifestyle differences. Identifying why you want to move out can help you feel more confident in your decision, and it will also help you feel more prepared when you tell your roommate about your plans. Here are some of the most common reasons why people look for new places to live:
- Concerns about cleanliness (For example, one roommate is exceptionally clean, while the other is less so.)
- Differences in lifestyle (i.e. one roommate likes having friends over and the other likes keeping a quiet apartment)
- Differences in personality (i.e. both roommates find it difficult to get along with each other)
- Desiring to live with someone
- Financial expenses (i.e. no longer being able to afford the rent)
- Moving to a new city
Prepare Your Words Ahead of Time
You will feel more confident during the conversation if you have planned ahead of time. If you’re afraid to tell your roommate, think about how you’d like to break the news to them. This can assist you in finding the appropriate words to say so that you can share your plans as respectfully as possible. You’ll also have more confidence going into the conversation if you know what you’re going to say.
To find the right words, try writing out what you want to say.
Call a trusted friend or family member to help you figure out what you want to say and practice saying it.
Stir up the Conversation –in Private
Informing your roommate in private allows you to avoid putting them on the spot. It will also give you some privacy if the conversation becomes emotional. Choose a time when the two of you are both free of distractions to ensure the conversation goes as smoothly as possible. You could try it when the two of you are eating dinner together at home or hanging out in the living room.
Avoid texting your roommate to let them know you’re leaving. Your roommate will likely accept the news much better if you tell them in a mature and direct manner.
Give Them at Least 30 Days’ Notice
Giving notice will allow your roommate to find a new roommate in a timely manner. Though you may be tempted to postpone this discussion, it is best to notify your roommate as soon as possible. They’ll have enough time to find a new roommate or a new place to live this way. In most cases, 30 days’ notice or more is sufficient.
Make sure to notify your landlord that you intend to move. Check your lease agreement to see how much notice they require, and then provide your notice in writing (a letter or an e-mail will usually work).
If you live in a competitive housing market or a larger city, you should consider giving your roommate more advance notice (60-90 days is plenty of time).
Explain Why You’re Leaving
Assist your roommate in understanding your point of view. Your roommate may be taken aback by the news. Giving them a thoughtful reason can help them see your point of view and soften the blow. Just make sure you carefully word your reasons. To avoid making your roommate defensive, emphasize your feelings and experience rather than going on a rant about all of their flaws.
Here’s how you could explain it:
“It was great living with you here I truly enjoyed it, but I’ve decided to look for a new place when my lease expires. This apartment is a little out of my price range, and I need to find a cheaper place to live.”